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Controlling anger is important to your health. It’s called one of the seven deadly sins, and for good reason: uncontrolled anger can negatively impact your health. Women have traditionally tended to internalize their wrath more than men, but anger management expert Janet Pfeiffer, president of Pfeiffer Power Seminars, says women are becoming more comfortable with anger, especially in certain demographics and cultures.

“Regardless of gender, anger is harmful anytime it creates a problem in your life,” she states, “Anger becomes a very destructive force when we deny or repress it, because it doesn’t resolve itself. It stays within you and manifests in some form, whether through a physical condition or emotional disorder.

“The other way that people deal with anger is through explosive behavior. Many people believe that it’s better to let it all out than hold it in. So they will lash out at someone, yell or throw things, or engage in some other very counterproductive manner. Those are not healthy ways of managing your anger either, and there are a whole host of clinical studies that show the medical ramifications of handling anger in that way.”

Pfeiffer offers the following tips on managing your anger. 1) Accept the fact that anger is a normal emotion. “All emotions have value,” says Pfeiffer. “It’s what you do with that emotion that determines whether it’s a positive or destructive force in your life. So just acknowledge that, yes I am angry and I admit to it, and it’s OK to be angry.” 2) Identify the source of your anger and put it in perspective. Ask yourself if it’s really worth being angry about. “I have what I call “the 10-year rule.” I say to myself, “will I even remember this thing that’s bothering me 10 years from now?” 3) If you get worked up over an important issue, however, look at how to correct it. “If you’re angry because, say, your boss is constantly criticizing you, that anger is telling you that there’s something in your life that needs to be addressed.” 4) It’s also important to understand that everything we feel is generated by what we’re thinking,” Pfeiffer states. “All feelings come from our thoughts. So the easiest way for me to get over anger is to refocus what I’m thinking about. If my husband forgets our anniversary the first thought that goes through my head is, oh, I guess he doesn’t love me anymore. If I’m thinking that way, of course it’s going to hurt my feelings and I’m going to get angry. So I need to change my thoughts to, well, maybe he had a lot on his mind today and didn’t realize today was the 10th of the month. Just by refocusing my thoughts, I can change how I feel.”

Get Active! By the Editors. The Active Life. Exercise and Fitness.

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